in a flurry of sound and colors-
without doubt, you make me spin (:
Friday, August 08, 2003
farewell....
today we stayed back at the forum...rehearsing for the item...
and i think back on all the stupid times we had together.
what with all the nonsenical dance choreographed by me...
the fact that we had the cheek to perform them...we were so stupid! i feel like laughing and crying when i admit that. serious. i love you guides...its like, yeah, there are people i really don't like. there are people whom i gradually get to like...in all....stnicholasgirlguides gave me so much...i'm stuttered...i dunno what to say. its like. my four years of memories are all tinted with guides' event...east coast enrolment...marking the field with hiang kiat and sijia...sijia crying in the den....the times we stayed back in school to do the gateway....the times we were at the computer lab with annabel and jade by my side...laughing and playing as we work alongside.
during campfires, the anxiety we shared before our item....us shrieking in delight when we heard that we won!! the sec one orientation campfire....us in our guides uniform, checking each other....tensed up and nervy....in campfire site...the troubles, the proposals....getting the materials....the sodium, magnesium, whatever! powder to make the fires change in colour...the times we stayed back to get screamed by gwee....camping...in school. i feel like crying. and we were in our tent....our cheers...we were talking in the tent...i was with my fellow sec fours...we braved the "music" and the pain and hardships together....the resentments towards each other....
we went to denmark...me and grace quarreling...us crying....me apologising first time ever in my life out of singapore....
and me and veron quarreled about rice or chalk dust in the bottles....oh man.... sheesh
the times we said "ok, lets go. what are you guys waiting for?.....yeah...i'm damn tired. but hey, what can we do right...we'll have to get it done eventually" i wanna cry! all the times i spend in guides....how hard i pushed myself to do the most disgusting things, those i really don't wanna do...the time i drifted from guides, how miserable....i cried over the phone to apologise to renhui...all charles' distractions....me and sandra drifting...me and gwen crying....
ms gwee....testing my campfire site.... purposely blowing off my lit match sticks time after time....just to make me learn that it will never work...i'm so hurt, i'm so so hurt....i'm so glad...she is part of my memories.... the catholic high campfire....an abject failure...i was torn....the acs(i) campfire and sji campfire....i was so over the moon...i love you....felicia, for giving me the memories....and the people we stayed back to do dance practices....the times when i had to choreograph the dance myself, we learnt it together....i danced so well...i always feel that everything's right, when i move in the music...=) with you...with you...with you guides....you guys make me whole....i can dance when i'm with you guys....lols.....how "niang" iw as in sec1....a fresh dancer-gymnast...now polished and cut into a fine piece of Girl GUide....hahas...that i lost all my "niang manners" like how you guys liked to remind me.... "they way you hold the spoon.....and the way you eat...and the way you walk and pick up dropped things...as if you're dancing!" hahas...i can never express my initial surprise in words when i first heard that as we dined together in the canteen.......the breaktimes...we would sit at the canteen wishing we were donning anything but our guides uniform.....lols......times i hugged you guys....sports day...crrying all the accursed boxes of drinks....2-3 boxes per girl....we were real "men" at that times...lols! i mean, look at us! lols.....and at night, we sang and danced and goofed around....shake it, baby!! =pPPp fun....fun to the max.....i could spin and jump till i lost all senses....we lost ourselves in a sea of laughter and music...we sat together, in an unorangised cluster, and sang the latest favourite songs of anyone...we saw each other on corridors and we'd groan "guides! and XxX test! again! stupid! COH after meeting...sigh!" and we'd sit and in our elephant-thick skin on which criticisms from gwee just bounce off our thick skulls, and us doodling with our pencils listlessly... we yawned, sighed, laid back on our chairs during guides meetings....talking about the latest bands, events, hottest school gossips.... did you see my badge, did you see my belt.......during camps....plus we lost god knows how many pencils, rules, erasers, pants, shirts, towels, specs, shampoo, combs, socks and shoes we lost! it was a disaster....we hated camp, cause that means we would have to "donate" items to the school....and we'd never get them back! hellish! lols.....and the times...what the hell....lols....we talked about the most crazy and sick stuff, i really dunno thats us! sick people among us...my god! lols....
-sigh-
as i selected the farewell prezzie....i can't help but feel liberated...
but sitting down here, listing everything out....its so crazy...
i can't convey the spirit through words, i'm not good enough. i want to make all of you, whoever that chanced on this blog, feel, what i'm feeling....i may not be good at it....but...i really want you to experience it.....it feels so good....so whole...so complete...thats like.....friendship. god, friendship is sucha corny word to use! lols...i mean, the word has been woven so many times, its lost its essence...what can i say. i want to tell you, is that in your area of work, put in your best. drown yourself....what you get is that. yes, all that above. anyone that can recall all the experience....thats a truly lucky, blessed person...i'm one of them!
st nicholas girl guides
you girls will always be a part of me...i love you. truly.
8:50 PM
spin me.
